


Lay All Your Love On Me

by GammaDraconis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Canon Compliant, F/M, Female Reader, Reader-Insert, Songfic, implied sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 21:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GammaDraconis/pseuds/GammaDraconis
Summary: He held her hand, probably having noticed her buckling knees. “I’m sorry about that, Y/L/N”, He whispered softly, voice quivering. She returned the favour with a gentle clasp on his palm. He was warm. No not warm, burning.Was it that hot a day? Or…She slowly peered up at him and noticed how flushed his face was, and felt her own getting hot. Why did he have such an effect on her? She couldn’t even understand it herself.orY/N can’t understand her infatuation with Draco Malfoy. (based on the song by ABBA) Requested on my Tumblr - eltanin-malfoy.





	Lay All Your Love On Me

**Author's Note:**

> i’m not a fan of the stereotypical ‘songfic’ format, so am just going to write it up more so in a manner to reflect the tone of the song? hopefully it works out.. also, this is nowhere near as upbeat as the song, so, sorry.

It had started as a short-term thing, really. Whatever it was the two of them had started to pursue. They were both sexually frustrated and stressed, but their timing was just absolutely off.

It was close to the end of their fifth year. Y/N wasn’t doing particularly well in her classes and with the widespread fear of You-Know-Who coming back into power, she found herself searching for some kind of an outlet. As unlikely as it was, she saw herself getting interested in a certain very _infamous _student : Draco Malfoy. 

They’d all heard about what Potter had said about his father. They’d all grown afraid of the sneering blonde who passed rude comments about their less privileged upbringings. But, for some unknown reason, Y/N couldn’t help but wonder what lay beneath the surface of this monster of a boy.

She’d seen him that one summer morning. It was supposed to be their last Hogsmeade weekend before they were off for the summer. She’d stayed back in the castle, desperate for some peace and quiet after the end of their exams. After an unusually lonely lunch, she’d decided to take a stroll as she sipped at a tall glass of ice cold pumpkin juice. She passed through the courtyard and caught sight of his white hair. 

She didn’t think he’d wanted her to find him the way he was, tall frame slouched back against an unfrequented corner, staring out at the sunlight in some all solemn way that was totally uncharacteristic of him. _Why is he alone like this in the first place? _She’d carefully taken a couple steps closer, curious to see what lay on the other side of the dark cloak slung across his shoulders. 

_Crunch._

Before she knew it, he’d turned at the sudden noise. Her gaze immediately fell and she stared down at the ground, noticing that she’d managed to step on some kind of crumpled bunch of papers. 

“What are you doing here? You-” He paused the instant he noticed her bending down to pick it up. “Don’t.” His usual taunting voice had turned weak and she couldn’t help but sneak a glance at him again. The usual silver shine in his eyes had faded, and they’d turned glassy. She disregarded his words and picked it up, unravelling the paper to look at what was written on the paper. 

It was a copy of the day’s Daily Prophet. _Why is he getting all touchy about this?_ She skimmed through the pages, opening up the front page again.. and suddenly.. it hit her.. 

_The Battle of the Department of Mysteries. _

It’d only be a few days since everyone said it had happened. Only a few days since Dumbledore and Harry Potter and his so called army had gone and fought against He Who Must Not Be Named. And Malfoy’s own father had been said to have been in attendance, and according to that issue, was said to be attending a hearing which would seal his fate. 

He pulled it out of her hands, tossing it to the side. She practically jolted backwards, the glass in her hands falling to the ground with a crash. Their gazes met and she could practically feel her knees getting weak. She didn’t really know him, to begin with, their only contact had been the few words uttered in class which neither of them remembered for much after. Their sudden intimacy shocked her and she looked to the side, shutting her eyes as she felt blood rushing through her ears. 

He held her hand, probably having noticed her buckling knees. “I’m sorry about that, Y/L/N”, He whispered softly, voice quivering. She returned the favour with a gentle clasp on his palm. He was warm. No not warm, burning. 

_Was it that hot a day? Or…_

She slowly peered up at him and noticed how flushed his face was, and felt her own getting hot. Why did he have such an effect on her? She couldn’t even understand it herself. 

***

It really hadn’t taken much for her to agree to it. Really. Barely anything at all. 

Just a day after that first meeting, the few conversations they’d managed to have by themselves had worked their charm. She liked to think it was just pity, really. They were at the brink of the Second Wizarding War, and somehow, his family had ended up on the wrong side of things. At least, in her perspective.

It’s not that they talked much anyways. She wasn’t even sure if they had much in common. It had all started in the least romantic way possible. They’d forced themselves into an abandoned broom closet on the seventh floor, desperate to find a place to discover each others’ bodies for the first time.

Even after that first time, Y/N could not find a way to explain that almost juvenile rush of feelings she felt every time she even thought about Malfoy. She tried her very best to ignore it, to remember every horrid thing she’d heard of him doing. But she just couldn’t stop herself from thinking about him. Every other second she spent with him before they left the castle was almost ethereal to her.

Every single experience before him suddenly seemed inferior. Every single person she’d ever felt attracted to suddenly felt secondary. She just couldn’t wrap her head around why.

***

That ridiculous infatuation had followed her through the summer and she couldn’t help but feel giddy as she got back on the Hogwarts Express for their sixth year. For some reason, his stupid pale face had given her a sense of security whenever she’d thought about it, and without it, she’d feel that same shiver up her back. She couldn’t help but feel a bit hopeful, wishing that the time they’d spent together before break had truly meant something to him, but to her displeasure, they’d crossed paths, even locked eyes, but hadn’t said a word to each other. 

_So.. it was nothing, then? Should I just ignore my feelings till they go away? _

She shuddered slightly as she noticed who he was with. _Zabini, of course_. She narrowed her eyes as she saw Pansy Parkinson sitting beside him. She tried her best to look away, drudging her trunk along with her as she followed her own companions, but she looked back, and what she’d seen in front of her hadn’t helped much with the sudden lurch of anxiety she felt in her abdomen.

_Why is his head on her lap? Are they together now? Is it really true he goes through girls the way he does?_

She grit her teeth and felt a pang of anger, but forced herself to turn away before she did anything she’d later regret. But, again, she found herself questioning her feelings. Why the sudden jealousy? _He isn’t even yours to begin with, you silly old prat._ Why had she suddenly become so bad at not catching feelings? _Every single actual relationship of yours has suffered because of a lack of the same, right? _

She shut her eyes as she followed her friends into an empty compartment, shrugging away the memories and engaging in conversation as if nothing had even happened.

***

It didn’t even shock her, to be honest, when she smelled all her memories of him in that stupid cauldron of Amortentia Slughorn showed to their class. _Pumpkin juice, parchment, that smell of the outdoors in the summer, that broom closet and his dumb, fancy cologne._ She stared over at his own blank face, wondering what it smelled like to him, or even if it did at all. 

He stayed stone-faced every time she caught sight of him, seemingly not even realising how much she’d begun to stare at him whenever she got the chance. She’d noticed how he’d begun to change. That usual smug expression had faded to something a lot less confident, and she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t noticed how much paler he’d seemed to have gotten. 

She couldn’t help but feel worried for him, but she didn’t even know if she should care. 

_It clearly meant nothing… right?_

But yet again, she couldn’t control herself. She found herself writing to him on a spare bit of parchment, quill shaking in her grasp.

_Malfoy,_

_I need to see you. _(She’d then scribbled through _‘I can’t stop thinking about you._’)_ Meet me at that same spot in the courtyard, right after lunch, next Hogsmeade weekend._

_\- Y/N._

She’d folded it up and taken it to the Owlery right before breakfast, fastening it to the leg of one of the many school owls. She’d watched as it had flown into the Great Hall that morning, and as it dropped her letter into his lap. She watched him intently, but yet again, he was silent, barely eating anything on the table in front of him. Her heart sank, but she forced herself to keep going with her work. 

***

That day arrived and Y/N couldn’t help but feel optimistic about it. She’d spent those few lone hours between breakfast and lunch reminding herself of every moment they’d shared, every time their lips had met, every- 

She felt herself come back down to reality. _He’s not going to be there. He’s probably off doing whatever it is he gets up to these days.. don’t even see him in the corridors much anymore.. I wonder.. _She sighed. _He’s probably with Parkinson. _

She made herself go down for lunch, even though she couldn’t stop looking across the hall in search of that lanky idiot. She scarfed down her meal and left the hall, carrying a glass of cold pumpkin juice again. She walked through the courtyard, and couldn’t help but think about how similar it was to that one day.. all that had changed was the weather. 

A steady autumn breeze blew onto her face as she took a sip from her glass, staring around at the reddening leaves falling from the trees around her. She tried to take the same path she did that very day, but before she knew it, stumbled on something and felt herself slipping forwards.

She groaned and braced herself for her fall, stretching her hands out in front of her, but suddenly felt someone grip her waist and pull her back onto her feet. 

“Can’t seem to watch your feet, can you, Y/L/N?” drawled out a certain someone. She turned almost instantaneously, hands over his on her waist. She looked up at him, silent as she looked over his face. 

Close up, everything seemed all the worse. His eyes seemed red at the rims and puffy. His face was obviously even more pointed and thin. His usually wellkept hair seemed stringy. He looked over at her face with his eyes narrowed as if he was very bored at the sight of her. “Cat got your tongue?” He remarked, slowly drawing his hands back as they grew jittery at her touch. “You’re the one who called me here, you know? I deserve some kind of explanation.”

She took a shallow breath, looked to the side, then back up at him. “Well.. I.. I.. I’ll.. “ Draco was now looking at her with some perplexity in his expression. “I’ll be frank with you, alright? I haven’t been able to.. been able to stop thinking about you.” She surveyed his face for some kind of reaction, but he remained unreadable. “All summer. It’s just.. I don’t know. Ever since we.. since that time in the broom closet. You’re all that I can think about. You probably haven’t even given it a second thought.. but.. I guess I just needed to know.” She gulped. “Did it mean anything? Or have you.. have you moved on, with Pansy?” 

He almost scoffed, lifting his hand up dismissively, but instead he just looked at her with that same blank expression. “Pansy? She’s just a friend.. she fancies Blaise. She wanted to get him jealous and I didn’t mind the..” He took a deep breath and smiled almost reluctantly at her. “It did mean something. Us. But, not anymore. I have.. responsibilities now. I don’t have time for this anymore. Good day.” 

He walked off without another word, running a hand through his hair, but instead of his usual confident stride, he paced off nervously with his eyes fixed on the floor beneath him. She felt that same rush of curiosity, practically a need to know what was behind those stormy grey eyes. She wanted to call out his name, wanted him to look back at her, but couldn’t move a muscle.

She wished she could have taken Pansy’s place. She wished he could tell her what it was that was troubling him so much. She wished so much that she could be his. But she knew, deep within, that none of these wishes could ever come close to coming true.


End file.
